4 Ways Facebook is Negatively Impacting Your Social Life.
- Failure to Introduce yourself –If you go to a particular bar/restaurant/lounge/club a few times, you start to see familiar faces – and chances are, you have mutual Facebook friends. You recognize them, they recognize you, and so what happens? – You smile, they smile, and you both head-nod or wave from across the room. You may even exchange some meaningless, phatic communication “Hey how’s it going?” etc. Then what happens? – You awkwardly avoid meaningful conversation with that person for the rest of the night. Why?!?! Simple – no one wants to insult someone by saying “Hey, I don’t remember your name? I’m Melissa, what’s your name again?” We choose the path of least resistance and just accept the inch-deep, shallow relationship that exists instead of actually getting to know someone.
- Failure to surrender to the moment –I constantly see groups of people interrupting the festivities of a night-out with excessive photo-shoots! Not to mention, if we get to a place at 9pm, there is already a photo-album with everyone tagged by 9:15. This obsession with catching everything on camera and sharing with the world leads to a disconnection with what is actually happening. Put the phones away, enjoy your company and I guarantee you’ll have a more meaningful and eventful night!
- Disillusioned sense of friendship –More and more, people are confusing Facebook friends with real friendship. We confuse a Facebook “comment” or a “like” with a meaningful, substantive conversation. Real connection is a two-way conversation where people share real things about themselves and their lives. Don’t forget to invest in meaningful relationships with your friends!
- Disillusioned sense of reality –Have you noticed that everyone has the best life imaginable on Facebook? Everyone travels, everyone has loads of friends, everyone has the best bodies, healthiest meals and coolest clothes?!?! Wow! I didn’t know everyone in the entire world was so affluent! – Oh, wait, they’re not…. People only post the best pictures of themselves because it feeds some ego-based story of who they think they are- supermodel, bodybuilder, socialite, professional acrobat, rock-star, you name it. How would Facebook look if people took selfies while on the toilet, or just after waking up? How would we view others if they posted about the dirty kitchen-floor they are about to clean, or took a picture of the check they wrote to pay-off student loans?
This disillusioned sense of reality feeds the ego and perpetuates. When people are constantly trying to live-up to a story of who they “should be”, they stop being who they really are… and that sucks for so many reasons.
So now what?!?!
So how do we battle this Social-Media epidemic? A few simple rules –
- If you take pictures while you’re out, make a rule that you can’t review them until the next day! The next day, you get to laugh at the good, the bad and the ugly!
- Stay humble and modest on Facebook. Be you, not the story of you. Vulnerability is real, and it’s one of the best ways to really relate to others.
- When you’re out with friends, be there! Put your phone on silent and you’ll have more fun – guaranteed.
- If you recognize someone but forget his or her name, introduce yourself! A tactful way to do this is by saying, “Hi! I’m sorry, I remember you well, but I can’t remember your name for the life of me!” – They’ll be glad to remind you J
Social-life is supposed to be fun and fulfilling! Let’s bring it back to just that! And always remember to be yourself – everyone else is already taken!
Keep evolving everyone!